On Moving Forward

“How were you able to tell me that you love me while you were seeing someone else?” I asked.

“I just pretended,” he replied, matter-of-factly.

At the time, that wasn’t enough for me. For someone who relies so heavily on logic and reason, someone who believes in the universal law of cause and effect, I needed a thorough explanation that connected all the dots and made sense. But what I eventually learned from this experience with H is that no one owes you an explanation, not even the person that you loved for the majority of a decade. You can bury yourself in the how’s and why’s or you can move on realizing that an explanation of any sort would just be a band aid, not a cure all for your pain.

Don’t get me wrong, I still believe that everything happens for a reason, but instead of letting that reason hold me back, I’m learning to let go and move forward.

On Reconnections

imageHike #5 of 2016

10 years ago, we were jumping into the pool after formals in our underwear. We lost touch after I graduated and haven’t really seen or spoken to each other since. We reconnected recently because I reached out and now we’re hiking, in appropriate (and apparently matching) clothing, like civilized people.

See, here’s the thing about reconnections. Unless you ran into each other totally at random, one person made the effort to reconnect and the other person was open to it. It didn’t happen unexpectedly. It was a conscious decision. Let’s not romanticize it and make it something that it isn’t. It’s not fate. It’s not destiny. Not what’s meant to be but what you wanted it to be.

We Are All Kings

image

Game 5 was a freaking roller coaster. One of the worst 1st periods I’ve ever seen the Kings play. Then a major comeback in the 2nd. Only to be crushed in the 3rd. My poor heart.

The last time I witnessed the handshake line, the Kings swept the Blues. We were on the losing end this time around, but it is still the best damn tradition in professional sports.

‘Till next season, boys 🙋

Go Kings Go!

On Healing

I saw this on Instagram and it really resonated with me…

image

Instead of beating myself up for not magically getting over T, I have accepted my sadness and am continuing to let myself heal. It’s ridiculous to believe that such an abrupt change in my life wouldn’t impact me in any way. But day by day, it gets easier. Day by day, I feel stronger. On some days, I find myself wanting to cry, and honestly, that’s OK. For now, it really is OK to not be OK.